19 Rules For Dressing Like A Real Housewife Of New Jersey

1. Wear animal prints to work.

Mike McGregor / Getty Images

Especially offices where the dress code is hardcore business casual and this will make you stand out extra.

2. But on red carpets, wear more than one animal print at a time.

Steve Mack / Getty Images

A Monet of animal prints, if you will.

3. Remember: rhinestones are the window to your soul.

Brad Barket / Getty Images

Just be careful with the arrangement — you don’t want people mistaking your sparkles for a bullseye.

4. When in doubt, just glue rhinestones all over your tube dress.

Andrew Kelly / Reuters

Feel like Britney in the “Toxic” video every night of the week.

5. Also, glitter nail art is a must.

Dave Kotinsky / Getty Images

You’ll need a Pinterest board to keep track of all your nail glitter styles — just go with it.

6. Glue huge pieces of fur to the edges of all your outerwear.

Allison Joyce / Getty Images

It will show off the fierce “come and get me, Peta!” spirit inside you.

7. In the springtime, choose ruffles.

Mike Coppola / Getty Images

Shop your daughter’s closet!

8. Definitely mix embroidery and fur from time to time.

Joe Corrigan / Getty Images

You know what they say in Jersey: just when you think it’s too much, keep adding more.

9. You won’t get through winter without a fur vest.

John W. Ferguson / Getty Images

Something to keep you warm but also expose your legs and boobs at the same time.

10. Cleavage is like a purse — you can’t leave home without it.

Dario Cantatore / Getty Images

11. Lingerie functions nicely as a dress.

Steve Mack / Getty Images

Have your husband unbutton his shirt to his belly button so you’re not the only naked-ish one.

12. No color is too bright for evening wear.

Mike Coppola / Getty Images

Just make sure it clashes with your tan — it’s the Jersey way.

13. Sew a wad of toilet paper to your LBD.

Mike McGregor / Getty Images

Nightclubs don’t always have it in the bathroom stalls, as we all know.

14. Re-wear old bridesmaid dresses when you don’t have time to shop.

Mike Coppola / Getty Images

Life gets pretty busy when you have to fight with your family all the time.

15. Mix prints.

Jamie McCarthy / Getty Images

Because this is on-trend, and you are trendy.

16. Look topless from at least one angle.

Jamie McCarthy / Getty Images

Ideally the back.

17. Wear sturdy collars instead of necklaces.

Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images

You can tie your halters to them, after all.

18. Of course, don’t go anywhere without applying at least half an eyeliner pencil.

19. Just always remember the three most important rules of Jersey Housewife fashion: tighter, shorter and sequined.

Jason Szenes / Reuters

Fringe is optional.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/emilyorley/19-rules-for-dressing-like-a-real-housewife-of-new-jersey